tw: audism, ableism from parent causing internalized ableism

I am hard of hearing after having several infections when I was a baby. my mother taught me never to complain, never to seek help, and never admit I am disabled. my first language was ASL, but my mother chose never to learn to sign fluently. she has caused me to be ashamed for every time I ask someone to repeat what they said. when I feel like crying because nothing makes sense in a loud restaurant, I only hate myself even more. when I fail hearing tests at check-ups and have to laugh it off to my doctor, I wish I could crawl in a hole.

I wish I had the courage to register with my university as disabled so I could get the help I need, but I know I never will.

  1. advocatequality reblogged this from lovejule
  2. sherlockhome-less said: I have Asperger’s, and my mom told me never to tell anyone. So I didn’t. I hated myself. But when I got to college, I said, screw this, I live once, I have a disability, and I’m gonna get the help I need. It’s your life! I’m hard of hearing as well.
  3. perculiar said: This is so sad. :( I really wish this person may find the courage and realise their own amazing self worth to be able to register as disabled and seek the help they need. If you read this, you’re worth the effort okay? You’re fantastic, I promise.
  4. secretsofthedisabled posted this